Wright to the End
by Rin-neechan
Summary: A collection of Ace Attorney drabbles.
1. Checkmate

Phoenix didn't think he could redeem himself this time. He was cornered and there was no way of getting out of this mess. He swallowed hard and looked viciously into the eyes of his opponent, Miles Edgeworth. He had been bested, again. Phoenix slowly lifted his hands off the small table in front of him, without any other move to make, he ended his turn and Edgeworth responded immediately.

"Checkmate." Miles said as he moved his queen one space diagonally away from Phoenix's cornered king. There wasn't another move for Phoenix to make.

"I win again, Wright."


	2. Bug Out von Karma

The perfect prosecutor had a perfectly neat desk area. His calendar sat over the cherry wood base, with all of Von Karma's court dates and schedule all planned. His computer monitor sat just to the left, his coffee cup, writing utensils, books that he wrote, and a small planner lining the edge. In the front drawer sat a Bug-Out-Bob stress toy that he kept tucked away. A most ridiculous toy, indeed. He would utter one word as he squeezed it and watched it's eyes, ears, and tongue pop out.

"Edgeworth..."


	3. Lawyers Don't Laugh

"Mystic Maya?"

"What's up, Pearly?"

"What are Mr. Nick and Mr. Edgeworth doing?"

"They're playing a stupid game that lawyers like to play.

"What game is it!? Is it fun?! How do you play?!"

"Basically, Nick and Mr. Edgeworth are going to keep staring at each other, all mean-looking like that, without saying a word, until one of them laughs."

"That doesn't sound fun, and they've been staring for a long time already."

"Yeah, this might take a while Pearly."


	4. Dirty Attorney

"Mystic Maya? Why are you covering my ears?"

"Well...see...Nick and Mr. Edgeworth are playing another game but in this game...you have to...scream...a naughty word really loud."

"But they do that all the time when they say, "OBJECTION!!"."

"Well, in this game...Nick is trying to say that naughty word louder than Mr. Edgeworth, and Mr. Edgeworth is trying to say it louder than Nick. And they won't stop until one of them doesn't have the guts to yell it louder."

"So that word Mr. Nick said before you covered my ears, that "Pee-nus" word, is a naughty word?"

"N-n-nnoooooo..." 


	5. Maroon?

I don't own Liar Liar.

* * *

"Maroon. Maroon. The color of my suit is M...M...muh...grr.."

"THE COLOR OF THE SUIT THAT I AM WEARING IS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUUURRRRNNNPP-PURPLE!!"

"Edgeworth!?" Phoenix yelled as he burst through the door.

Miles poked his head up from behind his desk slowly with a pen in his hand and blue ink on his jacket, pants and face.

"My suit is purple. My suit is purple. MY GODDAMN SUIT IS PURPLE!!"

Phoenix took two steps back out the door.


	6. Bling Bling

"Ho hoh. My dear Miss Fey... I am so very sorry. But I am afraid I must ask you for one more thing. You eternal silence... Farewell, Miss Fey."

"!!!"

Redd White held up his hands and let the radiance of the moonlight glaze onto his teeth, rings, and buttons, making them bling and ping with extraordinary shine.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! MY EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOO BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!" Mia screamed as her eyes began to bleed and splatter all over the office.

Two days later...

Phoenix watched as White pinged behind sunglasses.

_"What a fruitcake!!"_


	7. Flashing

"Hey, Nick?"

"Yeah Maya? Uh...what are you doing?"

"I'm flashing you."

"Am I going to have to take the flashlight from you, or are you going to stop?"

"I guess you'll have to take it."

Phoenix reached over, snatched the flashlight from Maya, and shined it in her face.

"There. Now I'm flashing you. How do you like it?"

"Nick! Gross! Nobody wants to see that!" Maya walked away with a disgusted look on her face.

"Wait, what?!" 


	8. Clue

Phoenix had solved yet another murder case. Now he just had to prove it. He was sure he was right, there couldn't be any other explanation for this. He saw all the evidence and it all pointed to this one and only solution. All there was now was to tell everybody what really happened, and prove it.

"Alright Nick, your turn." Maya said.

"IT WAS FRANZISKA, IN THE BEDROOM, WITH THE WHIP!!" He yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Phoenix then reached to the center of the board and pulled the tiny yellow file folder and showed everybody the cards inside.

"Yes! Haha! I win!" He said proudly, throwing his arms up.

"Crap." Franziska, Miles, Maya, Larry, and Gumshoe all said together.


	9. Touche, Engarde

This chapter was a request from JIN-HayTeR. JIN-HayTeR, I hope it's to your liking. I had two ideas, and liked this one better. The other was to have De Killer hang him upside-down by his ankles and have Shoe and some other evil cats (I hate cats) use his face as a scratch post. But anyways, thanks for reviewing, and feel free to give me a shout with any new ideas. -Rin-neechan-

* * *

"Ah, you're awake Mr. Engarde."

"Huh? What's going on? Why am I tied up?"

"Surely you remember me Mr. Engarde. I am Shelly De Killer. I promised to follow you to the end of the earth to exact my punishment for your traitorous actions. But first, I wish to show you the fear of death itself."

De Killer approached Engarde, who was tied up in a chair, and opened his eyes, and to keep them open, applied some duct tape.

"Endure torture Mr. Engarde, and see death itself. I bid you farewell." De Killer then walked over to a giant, flat screen, high definition television and turned it on. He then walked out of the room and locked the door.

_"And now we return to the all day Jammin' Ninja Marathon Special!"_

"Noooooooo!!! Anything but this!!! Dude!!! Kill me!!!"


	10. Don't Do This If Somebody's Got A Gun

"And now...the perfect opportunity presents itself. At last I shall have my revenge!"

"What!?"

"Merry Christmas." Yanni Yogi drew a pistol from the coat of his pocket and fired. Miles braced himself, felt nothing, but heard a splash.

"...You...missed me!? How could you miss me!? I'm standing three feet in front of you! Are you retarded?! You're supposed to be a defense attorney and you can't point straight!? Dur dur dur! My name is Robert Hammond and I'm retarded! Dur dur dur! Seriously, how could you..."

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!" With that, Edgeworth heard another gunshot and the other man fell back into the lake.

"A little sensitive, are we?"


	11. Effing Amazing

For those of you who don't know, during an interview Marilyn Manson dubbed the Ace Attorney series and I quote, "It's fucking amazing". I couldn't have said it better myself, but that's why this chapter is here. Enjoy. The next one will be up soon. The next two are already written.

I also feel that I should add, I've gotten criticism about the length of my drabbles. I'm not one to complain, in fact, I encourage further criticism, but it is my intention for these drabbles to be as short as they are, but to make up for their shortness, I am currently writing two longer ones that I may or may not post into this story as chapters, but they'll be on FF very soon. They were taking me a bit, but I'm pretty much done with the research I needed to do, so I'm ready to finish them up and I should have them up pretty soon. Hopefully you find them funny, as that's my intention... Anyways...drabbles are fun...read.

* * *

"Wright, what's the meaning of your attitude today?" Edgeworth asked, then heard everybody sigh as if to say 'finally!'

"Because I'm fucking amazing!" Phoenix said loudly.

"Look pal. You really shouldn't get a big head over this pal." Gumshoe said, shaking his finger.

"You all can stop being jealous. It's not my fault that a rock star called me 'fucking amazing' and not all of you." Phoenix said with his hands on his hips.

"Scientifically speaking Mr. Wright, Mr. Manson called the game 'effing amazing'. Therefore, that includes all of us, as well." Ema said poking at her goggles.

"That's right, Wright." Edgeworth said, almost pouting.

"Edgeworth, what's the game called again?" Miles hated being taunted, but exhaled loudly in defeat.

"Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney."

"That's right. Now go be depressed and disappear for another year."


	12. Gumshoe vs Pie

A friend sent a short from the Simpsons to me, and I just thought it was a quite a Gumshoe moment. So in case you all recognize this, I don't own the Simpsons...sorry I'm not that cool.

* * *

"Now Detective Gumshoe, don't you eat this piiiiiie." Edgeworth said pointing at the pie with one hand and the other on his hip.

"Okaaaaay, pal." Gumshoe said without looking at Miles purposely. Miles walked out and Gumshoe spoke to the pie.

"Ok pie, I'm going to do this, 'chomp chomp chomp' and if you get eaten, it's your own fault, pal." He walked toward the pie with his eyes shut, chomping at the air. Then his forehead struck the microwave above where the pie sat, leaving a rather large dent.

"OWWWW!!!! OHHHH!!!! PAAAAALLLLL!!!!"


	13. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

At the lobby of the prosecutor's office, everybody was wondering why the elevator was taking so long to reach the bottom. It was clearing one floor every ten minutes. And from the sounds of it, a woman could be heard screaming in the elevator.

In the elevator, Manfred von Karma was pressing the emergency stop button again and again and again, snickering to himself as Miles Edgeworth huddled in the corner screaming.


	14. Lawyer Jokes

I got this joke from lawyerjokesdotcom so it's not my original material. I'm not this clever.

* * *

Phoenix opened his mailbox and grabbed the letter from his law school. He prayed silently to himself as he opened the letter and read it. 

"Hey, Nick! Dude, I gotta tell you a joke man, this is awesome. So, check it out! If you're stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?" Larry asked, overly excited.

"I don't know Larry. What do you do?"

"Shoot the lawyer twice! Hahaha! Ow! Nick? Where you goin' man? I've got more!" Larry looked at the paper Phoenix threw at him.

"Hmm...'Congratulations Phoenix Wright. You've passed the bar exam.' Nick! I've got one about a lawyer and a lightbulb, dude!"


	15. Poppy Paper

"Woah, von Karma! I heard a gunshot over by the elevator! Then I heard you scream! Then I heard another gunshot! What's going on here?! Did you shoot somebody?!"

"Poppycock! There was some poppy-paper over there, and I stepped on it because I wasn't looking. It startled me some, that's why I screamed. There was no gunshot."

"Oh, that's a relief. Nice ketchup effect on your shoulder there."

"Why, thank you." 


	16. About Time

**WARNING: This chapter contains spoilers for Trials and Tribulations. If you don't want to spoil for yourself, don't read this chapter until you've played through the game. You've been warned. It's out of my hands now. **

* * *

Mia slammed her hands on the bench, leaned forward, presented her evidence, and explained her point.

"Well, Mr. Edgeworth! Can you explain that?"

"OBJECTION!! Ms. Fey, I beg your pardon but I'm twenty years old. Could you please zip up your blouse a little more. I didn't hear a word you just said because I was too busy being a twenty-year old male and gawking at your enormous cleveage. I mean, this is my first case, I'm trying to prosecute and do my job here and you're over there, falling out all over the place everytime you move. It's rather distracting." The judge pounded his gavel.

"Objection sustained. Ms. Fey, if you please."

"Y-yes, Your Honor." As Mia zipped her blouse up more, Diego Armando squeezed his coffee cup so hard it broke and cut his hand.

"Edgeworth..." He uttered under his breath.

* * *

Oh Edgeworth, I love you. 


	17. This Explains Alot

Mia walked into her office and found Phoenix asleep in front of his paper work.

When she reached over to gently shake her intern, she noticed him wearing a small pair of headphones. They were just small enough not to be seen unless you looked really closely.

Mia picked them up and placed them in her own ears and was infuriated by what she heard the headphones chanting.

_"Look her in the eye. Look her in the eye. Don't look down. Don't look down. Look her in the eye. Look her in the eye. Don't look down. Don't look down."_

* * *

I always knew there had to be some method to Phoenix's amazing "immunity". You can't fool me, Phoenix. 


	18. Milk or cream?

Credit for this drabble goes to TheInsane. She wrote Godot's weird monologue. If you understand it, then explain it to me, because I don't. I figure it's just as Phoenix said, "The more sense he makes, the less sense he makes."

* * *

Godot approached the register at his favorite cafe, and faced the young girl behind it.

"Hi there! What can I get for you?"

"The black purity of coffee is the only certainty, the only thing one can control. Otherwise, fate and destiny toy with our lives, controlling who we are and what we can and cannot do, until their rusty wires snap, and fall, us puppets, humans, falling to the ground; as we are unable to amuse the higher beings, who seek to murder and destroy for their own joy, molding our souls, our emotions, until we are their perfections--and as the only choice I am liable to make, I, with the little slack I have from the strings of destiny and the depths of hell, walk into this coffee shop with purpose, because untainted bitterness made with love and care by one's two hands is so much better than the intent of a machine programmed to make perfection in a styrofoam cup."

"...uh...Did you want milk or cream in that?"

* * *

The moral is that Godot doesn't know what the hell he's talking about either. 


	19. More Lawyer Jokes

More from Lawyerjokesdotcom. All I did was stick "Robert Hammond" in there. I'm not clever enough to think of jokes like these.

* * *

Larry bursted into Miles' office but this time, he was prepared.

"So dude! Edgey, I got joke for you man! Ok, what's the difference between a skunk, dead in the road and Robert Hammond, dead in the road?"

"I don't know Larry. What?"

"There's skid marks in front of the skunk! Hahaha!!!!"

Miles covered his mouth and attempted to keep himself quiet, but Larry caught on that he was laughing. Phoenix crossed his arms, not amused at all. Larry put his arm around Phoenix.

"Here Nick, I got one for you. Why do they bury lawyers 600 feet underground when they die?"

"Larry, I don't care."

"Because deep down, they're really nice guys." Larry erupted into fits of giggles, as Miles and Phoenix rolled up their sleeves, ready to knock him out.

* * *

Larry will never learn... 


	20. Phoenix Likes It Like That

"Hey Franziska, knock knock?"

"Who goes there?"

"Me. I beat you."

Franziska readied her whip as Phoenix giggled to himself.

* * *

Phoenix practically asks for it sometimes, he must like it, no? 


	21. Question of the Day

**WARNING! This chapter contains major spoilers for Case 3 of Trials and Tribulations and minor spoilers for Case 5. Please read with caution if you have yet to finish the game. **

* * *

"Wright, while I was at the precinct looking up Iris' background, I happened to come across the file of the last murder case you worked on, and I have some questions." Miles asked while flipping through a file folder as Phoenix rolled his eyes. 

"You mean the State v.s. Byrde appeal? Look Edgeworth, I don't know how Tigre was able to fool the entire court with a cardboard badge, or how he was able to disguise himself as me, so please don't ask about that. I have no idea." Phoenix explained as Miles looked up and shook his head.

"Not that, Wright. What I would like to know is how in the name of all that is good and holy did you allow a fat, gay French man to reach into your pockets?" His grey eyes were both puzzled and enraged.

"... uh... umm... What?" Phoenix half winced, half laughed almost like it was a bad joke.

"It's not like he's a small man, Wright, so how could somebody that large manage to INCONSPICUOUSLY have reached down your pants while you were looking right at him? I mean, surely if he was able to steal your Magatama without you noticing, how do you know that he didn't do anything else down there that you were completely unaware of?"

"... Oh my God... I... Is the bridge still broken?" Phoenix's blue eyes were horrified and his face pale as the snow around him. Miles figured he was trying to change the subject and reminded himself to bring it back up later. Right now, something else was more important.

"Detective Gumshoe rigged something so we could cross, but... Wright!? Wait! Stop! Don't do it! Death is not the answer!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

It's up to your imagination if Miles was able to stop Phoenix in time. But yeah, what's up with that? How did Phoenix not notice Armstrong picking his pocket? 


	22. Lost and Found

Manfred von Karma sighed in annoyance and disgust in himself for his imperfection. How could he misplace his pen? It was only on his desk not three minutes ago. It couldn't have gotten up and walked away. It wasn't on the floor anywhere. It wasn't in between the cushions of his chair. It wasn't beneath his papers. It wasn't in his briefcase. He hadn't left it at the Prosecutor's Office. He hadn't dropped it in his car. It wasn't in his pants or jacket pockets. Of all places it could possibly be, it wasn't, no matter how many times he retraced his steps.

"Franziska." He eventually called out as he saw her walking past the door to his study.

"Yes, Papa?" Asked the two year-old quietly.

"Have you seen Papa's pen, Dear?"

"Is that it there, Papa? In your hand?"

"Nonsense, it couldn't possibly be..." And there it was. After several minutes of staring at the pen in his hand, wishing it were a gun so he could shoot somebody, he slammed his fist to the desk and screamed at the top of his lungs. He then grabbed the sides of his desk and slammed his head into it a few million times.

Franziska backed away slowly and quietly.

* * *

Last time I did that, I felt so incredibly stupid. But haven't we all? 


	23. My Hog

**WARNING... sort of... - This chapter is based around Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, however, it doesn't give away any details about the cases, or spoil anything story related for that matter. All it does it press on some of the reoccuring "terminology" used by Klavier Gavin. So if you haven't played the game yet, you're ok. But if you're a Stickler (Could I be any more lame? Probably...) then I guess don't read this chapter until you're through case two, at least.**

* * *

"Achtung!!! My hog won't start again!" 

"You know, rock star or not, it's a freakin motorcycle. Why don't you just call it a freakin motorcycle? It's not a freakin hog. It doesn't squeal, doesn't roll in the mud, doesn't eat scraps of God-knows-what, and it's not killed in the making of ham, so it's not a freakin hog." Apollo stated, rather calmly, with an expressionless look on his face.

"Herr Forehead, I was just trying to sound cool." Klavier pouted.

"Well, news flash, you don't. And apparently, your motorcycle's a piece of crap, so invest in a new one." Apollo still remained expressionless as he made his exit.

* * *

I don't know why, but I think it's fun to put the characters in awkward little confrontations like that. Completely one-sided and "owned" if you will. :D 


	24. Battle and War

This is not funny. Don't laugh.

* * *

Manfred von Karma flipped open a daily newspaper that was tossed into his solitary confinement cell earlier that morning and was startled, but amused by the front page story in large, bold letters. 

"Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death?"

He went on to read the short article before it continued on another page.

"The astute, genius young prosecutor of Los Angeles district has been reported missing this morning by police officials who found what they suspect to be a suicide note on his desk at the city Prosecutor's Office. Handwriting analysis proved it was his handwriting, and most likely was not forged. The note consisted of five words, "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death". Nobody has reported seeing the prosecutor since his last trial, State vs. Skye, and his apartment deserted. There was no body found there and no reason for police to believe it to be a crime scene. His body is still considered missing. (See Edgeworth, Page A3)"

As von Karma turned to page A3 he smirked to himself as his plan for revenge seemed to be successful regardless. He may have lost the battle, but he won the war.

* * *

If you laughed, you have no soul. :D Only I can laugh because I wrote this one serious chapter in honor of 100 reviews! Yay! Thanks guys! 


	25. Grow Up

"Hey Larry, come here. I have something to tell you." 

"Oh sure Edgey, what up?" 

"No, no, come here. It's a secret." Miles motioned for Larry to come closer. 

"Alright, alright. Tell me. What is it?" Miles cupped his hand around Larry's ear and leaned forward to whisper. He said one word.

"Bugar." Larry bursted into immediate laughter, gripping his gut as he rolled off the couch in Miles' office. Miles shook his head, watching the pathetic twenty-five year-old kill himself with laughter. 

* * *

That's so Larry... :D 


	26. Gangsta?

**Warning - ...sort of... Like the other chapter "My Hog" this one also is centered around Apollo Justice, but again, doesn't give away any important case information. So if you still haven't played the games, you're ok to read. It again only deals with the certain way one of the characters talks. Nothing to do with the case itself. **

* * *

Apollo and Trucy walked in the Detention Center to meet their new client for an interview.

"What up, G? How goes it, homeys? You gonna get me outta dis joint dawg, cuz I'm sayin' man, it sucks all up in this hizzouse, mofo. Represent, foo! Imma G, man, Imma G! Imma bust a cap in that foo man!" Wocky continued on for several more minutes.

"Trucy…" Apollo finally said.

"Do you have a noose in your Magic Underwear?"

"Magic Panties Apollo!"

"DO YOU HAVE A FREAKING NOOSE?"

"Sure, Apollo, here you go."

* * *

I seriously wanted to slap Wocky Kitaki whenever he spoke during that case. His text made me want to poke out my eyes. D: 


	27. Gregory x Manfred DOESN'T WORK!

This chapter was derived from a discussion Luv2Game and I had while trying to understand how Gregory x Manfred fans figure the pairing works. We decided, there is no way to make the pairing work. It's not possible. Being that we're both completely terrified to read a fic that pairs them up, we decided to prove it doesn't work.

This was written thanks to Luv2Game's creative ideas as well as mine. I still erupt into fits of giggles when I read it. :D 

* * *

Gregory Edgeworth sat in the Defendant's Lobby after a lost trial with his son and was about to sigh in disappointment, when he felt somebody standing in front of him. He looked up to find Manfred von Karma, glaring at him with disgust.

"Have you come to gloat, von Karma, because frankly, I'm not in the mood to hear it right now." Gregory attempted to dismiss the prosecutor to no avail. He felt his son scoot just a little closer to him.

"You defied me, Edgeworth, and you'll pay for it, I assure you. Nobody ruins my perfect trial record and doesn't expect me to smother them with hugs, kissies and lovey talk." 

"Um... I beg your pardon?" There was no way he heard that correctly.

"I don't know. What I meant to say is that if I ever had a gun and was in excruciating pain I would shoot you but... this is blasphemy!" von Karma made his exit quickly, without another word. 

"Dad, what just happened?"

"Stay away from him, Miles."

* * *

There's your proof of the pairing that can never work regardless of how hardcore you "develop" your story. Luv2Game, you're awesome, thank you, talk to you later. Rin out. 


	28. Pink Sweater

Here, I shall quote the game's producer, Minae Matsukawa, in responce to a question asked during an interview about Trial and Tribulations at San Diego Comic Con 2007.

Q: "About number three, we've got many people asking: What's up with the pink sweater and face mask that Phoenix sports?"

A: "_(Laughter)_ Nobody else has asked about that! Actually, the pink sweater and the mask are from when Phoenix was a lot younger. That's a hand-made sweater from his girlfriend, so he's wearing it out of an obligation!..."

* * *

"Feenie! I made something for you! I've been staying up late for the past few nights making it, so I hope you like it." Iris smiled brilliantly, making Phoenix smile as well.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands, Feenie." Phoenix did as she asked, then a second later; felt something soft placed into his arms.

"Okay! Open them!" Phoenix opened his eyes to find a knitted sweater. It was bright pink with a large red heart and yellow "P" on the front. Phoenix looked at "Dahlia" suspiciously.

"Dollie, baby, I'm not gay."

* * *

According to J.D. from Scrubs; every two seconds, a man says something a woman punishes him for. I'll leave you to imagine Phoenix's punishment.


	29. Perceive System Failure

**WARNING! - For real this time! - This chapter is centered around Apollo Justice and DOESN'T give away facts pertaining to individual cases, but it DOES give away major plot details. If you haven't played the game, or spoiled it for yourself, please read with caution.**

This idea was thought up by the amazing TheInsane. She gave me the idea and helped me brainstorm ideas. This is her work as well as mine.

* * *

"So, Apollo, how does that bracelet thingy work?" Phoenix asked more out of boredom than curiosity.

"Oh, well see, when people get nervous and lie, their body language can show it if you look hard enough. My bracelet feels it and tightens around my wrist to trigger the Perceive System." He explained, holding out his arm for Phoenix to see the bracelet.

Phoenix raised and eyebrow and smiled mischievously. The reaction didn't get past Apollo unnoticed.

"You know, I ate seventy-four jalapeno peppers in the time it took to finish this sentence." Apollo's bracelet tighted and his eyes narrowed.

"Um, no you didn't."

"And I also recently lost 500 pounds and gave birth to a cat." Phoenix's smile widened as Apollo winced and rubbed his hand vigorously.

"Mr. Wright, please stop, my bracelet is..."

"I also speak Elvish and am the boss of the Mafia. I mugged the former president of the United States with a pickle and the jar they came in once." Apollo's hand started turning blue as the bracelet continued to tighten.

"MR. WRIGHT!! PLEASE!! MY CIRCULATION!!"

"Back in the day, I broke into a cattle ranch and tipped --"

"GAAAAAAAAAH!!" Apollo's hand practically fell off.

"Actually, that last one was true..."

* * *

If you remember from game 1 case 5, Phoenix is about to say that he broke into a cattle ranch and tipped cows, but I think either Edgeworth or Gant cuts him off. Oh well, just in case you guys didn't recognize that little piece there, that last one really was true.

TheInsane, I'll bring the pixie sticks and ice cream sandwiches. You bring pickles. We'll watch 300 and play mass Brawl. Wolf vs Pit. Then we'll sit and try to decide who's hotter; Gerald Butler, Twilight Princess Link, or Miles Edgeworth. Choices. It'll be a party. Talk to you later dude.


	30. Gyakuten Kenji

Edgeworth, we, the fans, love you so much that Capcom decided to give you your own game. I freaked out when I found out and I've been thinking, "What can I do in celebration besides freak out?" so I decided that the next five chapters of this drabble archive will be all about you.

I'm fully aware that Miles Edgeworth is a work of fiction who does not exist and will never actually read this or respond to it. Please, there is no need to remind me. I'm still sane. By the way, if anybody has ideas for the next five chapters, let me know, my brain capacity is limited.

* * *

"If I had known the truth, I might have become a defense attorney after all." Miles said, his voice full of shame and remorse for the path he'd turned away from all because of a misunderstanding as he gripped his left arm insecurely.

"Edgeworth..."

"Want to switch, Wright?" Miles didn't expect the reaction he got out of Phoenix at that moment. The defense attorney seemed to be thinking about the offer. Intensely.

"What the hell? Why not?" He said finally, shrugging his shoulders.

_One month later, in Prosecutor Phoenix Wright's office..._

Prosecutor Wright kicked up his feet onto his large desk and put his arms behind his head, occasionally sipping at a cup of the finest tea.

"All I've done in the past month is sit at this desk, fill out paper work, yell at people to do everything for me and I get paid ridiculously well. Life is good." His peace and quiet was disturbed when an insane defense attorney came bursting through his door.

"Wright! For the love of God! I can't take it anymore!" Defense Attorney Miles Edgeworth screamed, holding the door open with one hand, and ripping off his defense attorney's badge with the other.

"What's wrong, Edgeworth? Job getting to you?" Phoenix asked, sitting up and leaning on his desk, amused. Miles had lasted longer than he expected.

"My job is to defend people! Not solve all their problems and get their lives back in order! I'm a defense attorney! Not a freaking therapist!"

"Ah, I remember getting sucked into all that. Lame, isn't it?" He said, resting his elbow on the desk and leaning his face into his hand thoughtfully.

"That's not even the worst of it! I'm trying to freaking help these idiotic people who get themselves arrested on capital charges, and they have absolutely no respect for me! Is that what the world has come to!? Even the largest, most blantant act of kindness like, making sure my idiot client doesn't get executed for something he didn't do, is taken with disdain and not even a payment!?" Miles' face began to go red from frustration and yelling. Phoenix sat back again and let out a long, grateful sigh.

"Afraid so, Edgeworth."

"And court is a nightmare! The judge is always in favor of the prosecutor and he barely even gives me the time of day! Even when my claim makes PERFECT sense, all the prosecutors have to do is shake their heads or do something flashy and unnecessary and the judge is back on their side! And why must all witnesses give me a hard time?! Is it too much to ask that they walk to the stand and actually know what they're talking about!? And why in God's name are they all such wackos?! Don't normal people witness crime anymore!?"

"A shame. A dying shame." Phoenix's smile grew as Miles continued. This was music to his ears.

"And for the sake of whatever sanity I have left in me, GET THESE NAGGING LITTLE GIRLS TO STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" He finally shouted at the top of his lungs, pointing to Maya and Pearl behind him, who were randomly yelling out "Edgey" and "Mr. Edgey", their designated nickname for Miles.

"Yeah, suddenly the job isn't so high falutin, huh?" Miles began to sniffle as his eyes watered up.

"Well, if it's not working out, you could always quit and get a job as a piano player." Phoenix joked, making sure to sound as sarcastic as possible.

_Nine years later..._

"Edgeworth, you weren't supposed to take me seriously, you know." Phoenix scanned Miles, clad in sweats, a beanie and slightly unshaven.

"All's well, Wright. Anything is better than being a defense attorney."

* * *

For those of you that might not know what I was talking about in my introduction, that project that the court record has been waiting for an announcement about, "New Gyakuten Not Saiban" is actually going to be a game called "Gyakuten Kenji" or "Turnabout Prosecutor". The games' main characters are Miles and Detective Gumshoe and you examine crime scenes and such. I say get yourself to the court record and check it out. They've got screenshots and new official art. The gaming style is mostly different, so it should be awesome. Now we just need to pray that it comes to America.

FYI, Producer Matsukawa is still going to make an announcement concerning it on the 20th, so keep yourselves updated. It's on my calendar, mark yours.


	31. Emo?

Special thanks to C.M.Kearney for helping me polish this idea. Three more chapters to dedicate to Edgeworth in celebration of his own game. :D

* * *

"Maybe it's my turn to say, "Defense Attorney Phoenix Wright chooses death… but I'm not emo like you, so I won't." As Phoenix's tone shifted to a joke, Miles became serious.

"I'm not emo, Wright." Phoenix crossed his arms and glared at Miles.

"Comon Edgeworth. Let's not be in denial now."

"Wright, emos are teenagers who think they have problems, but they aren't dealing with anything that normal people don't deal with. They bask in their depression and threaten to kill themselves frequently over trivial issues that don't even matter in the long run. They listen to depressing music and claim that people don't "get them", when truth be told, we don't get them, because while they're dying their hair black and pretending that their trivial issues are worth dying for, normal people are solving and dealing with their problems. Now let's think about my situation. My father was murdered right in front of me. Traumatizing? I'd like to think so. The man who raised me after his death was plotting to kill me. Scarring? Yeah. Then I'm accused of presenting forged evidence in court which I not only didn't forge, but had no knowledge of the forging itself and am forced to take responsibility for it. Unfair? Just a bit. So I'm not emo. I had real problems and I dealt with them. Besides Wright, I'm popular enough with the fan base to make a comeback after faking death. You, my friend, are not. And I'm hot."

Phoenix thought for a moment before answering, tapping his chin with his index finger.

"Touché."

* * *

So maybe Edgeworth was emo, but being that he made such a freakin amazing comeback, I'd rather just say he's not emo. And I don't like bashing Phoenix, he's so cute in a boy-next-door type way.


	32. If Only

Two more chapters to dedicate to Edgeworth. :D

* * *

"Oh no! We're trapped in this elevator and the air is getting thin! What should we do!?" Yanni Yogi panicked, just short of running in circles and waving his arms. Gregory Edgeworth was too busy pondering the oddness of the elevator itself to pay attention to Yogi.

"What is it, Dad?"

"Strange, this elevator has a window. A glass window. How convenient! Hey you! Come here and use your nightstick to break the glass so we can climb through the window and get out." Yogi stopped and did as Gregory suggested. The glass was indeed thick and hard to crack, but eventually it caved and the way was open.

"Comon, Miles. Let's go home." Gregory hoisted Miles out of the hole before climbing out himself, then finally Yogi.

"Imagine if we had just sat there and waited for help instead of just doing it ourselves. Oh boy." Gregory joked with Miles as they both laughed it off.

* * *

Think about how much WOULDN'T have happened if this had happened. Poor Edgey. D:


	33. Sibling Love

The jokes and insults in this chapter are meant to be lame. You can say that I observed my younger siblings engaged in battle, and documented my studies. One more chapter to dedicate to Edgeworth. :D

* * *

"The prosecution can wield a whip or drink seventeen cups of coffee... But there is still only one truth. That is what I stand to prove today!" Miles said while pointing at his sister across the courtroom from him. She responded by cracking her whip against the bench in front of her.

"This promises to be interesting... Miles Edgeworth... I had expected to face Phoenix Wright here today. But looking you now... maybe this is what I have been waiting for all this time. Miles Edgeworth! I will not allow this chance to crush you slip through my fingers!" She opened her fingers and stretched her arm out towards him palm up, almost as if about to crush him in her hand right then and there. Miles rolled his eyes at his dramatic sister.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've obviously mistakened me for someone who gives a damn." Franziska's eyes widened for a moment, and then filled with anger.

"Oh yeah, little brother!? I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!" Her face flushed with her rage. Miles didn't flinch. He picked up his head and crossed his arms.

"I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high." He smiled and looked up at her after shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.

"Shut up, Doodoo-head!" She pounded her fists against the bench. Miles put his hands on his hips and spoke in such a way that his voice was ridiculously mocking.

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"No, you!"

"You!" The judge finally decided to intervene.

"I'm not sure if I care for the counsel of this case attacking each other in such a way that slowly decreases their intelligence. I want all of that removed from the record immediately!" As the secretary taking the minutes erased that from her document, Miles cleared his throat.

"... I see you brought your flair for the histrionic."

* * *

When I first saw that little verbal battle before case 5 game 3, I thought, "could they play off this little sibling rival game anymore?" so I made it blantant. :D


	34. Slip Of The Tongue

All right. Sorry that this took so long everybody. I've been away at Fanime Con 2008 all weekend (cosplaying as Mia Fey) and I had finals this week so since that's all done, I can get back to my fics and drabbles. This is the last chapter devoted to Edgeworth in celebration for his own game. The concept was derived from a little something we were doing at the Phoenix Wright gathering at the convention.

* * *

"Your Honor! The prostitution objects to the defense's claim that the defendant ever gave Ms. Hawthorne an opportunity to kill her sister!" Miles objected frantically, not about to lose his first case.

"..." The courtroom was quiet…

"Mr. Edgeworth, the defense has a question regarding your objection." Said Mia Fey as she crossed her arms and smirked at him.

"Yes, Ms. Fey?"

"How much?" Mia and her co-counsel, Diego, started trying to conceal giggles, as did the rest of the court.

"Um, excuse me? What's so funny? What is everybody laughing at?" Miles asked as he seemed to be the only person not laughing. The judge broke the ice.

"Mr. Edgeworth, I must discourage you from advertising in my courtroom."

"What? I don't understand. What's everybody talking about? You're all talking like I'm some kind of pros…" Miles said nothing, obviously realizing what he said, "Ms. Fey, I charge 350 dollars an hour."

* * *

All throughout the Phoenix Wright gathering, we were calling all the prosecutor cosplayers the Prostitution. They all were good sports and took it well, in fact, they loved it.


	35. Resistance is Futile

I know the last chapter was supposed to be the last one dedicated to Edgeworth, but I guess I couldn't resist. So I wrote another one for him. I love Edgeworth too much.

* * *

"Hey, Mr. Edgeworth! Come here and look at this!" Gumshoe called over to Miles. He had found something at his latest crime scene and wanted to confirm if it could be used as evidence. When Miles saw it, his eye widened and he immediately asked one of the CSI for a spare latex glove. He picked up a piece of rock among debris and examined it closely, spying a tiny bloody spot, perfect for DNA sample.

"Good work, Detective." Miles congratulated Gumshoe while placing the rubble in a plastic bag and writing "DNA" on the bag. He then held it out for Gumshoe to take.

"Take this to the forensic lab for a DNA analysis immediately. Test it for all suspects and witnesses related to this case. I want the results on my desk by this afternoon." Miles ordered, but raised an eyebrow when the detective made no move to take the bag from him. In fact, Gumshoe crossed his arms rather defiantly.

"You do it your damn self. What do you think I am? Your personal little bitch?" Miles stepped back in surprise.

"Detective! This is neither the time nor the place for these jokes!" Gumshoe used his pointer finger and drew an imaginary circle around his face attempting to focus Miles' attention to his facial expression.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Miles, completely fed up, simply narrowed his eyes and stared the detective down, receiving a look of equal proportion from Gumshoe. This continued for a few more moments until one of them snapped.

"Okay! Okay! I'm going! I'm going!" Whined the detective, frightened, as he took the bag that Miles was still holding towards him.

"That's what I thought you said." Miles finished, re-establishing his authority.

* * *

Next one will be about Godot.


	36. Coffee Kicks In

Since the Phoenix Wright gathering at Fanime was incredibly awesome and everybody there was cracking jokes and being amazing, it gave me plenty of drabble ideas. This being one of them.

* * *

"It is impossible to predict what the future has in store for any of us. This is precisely why people feel the need to judge the past. And we of the court have been charged with… the… uhhh…. solemn duty of passing… such judgment… Oh my God... Gramps! I need a recess!"

"Mr. Godot? You've only just given your opening statement!"

"Listen Gramps. I've had eleven cups of coffee in the past hour. Black coffee. If I don't get a recess right now…"

"OBJECTION!! Your Honor, you have always asked both the defense and the prosecution if they are prepared when court begins. Mr. Godot claimed he was ready when court was commenced. I object to his request for a recess. The defense will not acknowledge his excuses for being ill-prepared." Phoenix said with his hands on his hips, glaring across the court with a look of utter enjoyment as Godot broke out into a cold sweat.

"Excellent point, Mr. Wright. Objection sustained. I'm sorry Mr. Godot. You will have to wait." The judge concluded with a pound of his gavel as Godot began clenching his teeth.

"Trite…" Phoenix gave him a challenging look, ready for whatever Godot was about to throw at him, literally.

"… Please…?"

* * *

Everybody asked the Godot cosplayer, "Dude, with all that coffee, how does Godot not need to crap every other minute in court?" My Godot (we started calling each other "My Godot" and "My Mia" after several pictures together, it was cute) answered the question by chugging what was left in his coffee mug. Oh anime conventions. If you haven't been to one, you need to go to one.

Granted I can find the info I need, the next drabble is about Pearl.


	37. Farewell

"Oh, hello, Wright."

"Oh, hey, Edgeworth. You know what I found out a while ago and cared so little about that I didn't tell you but just remembered so I might as well tell you now?"

"What would that be, Wright?"

"They're making an opera out of the Ace Attorney games."

".... What in the.... Why?"

"I guess they must think it's a good idea or something... I don't know. To be honest, I think it sucks, especially for everybody who doesn't live in Japan and is a fan of my games. I mean, chances are they won't be allowed to tape the performance and crappy bootlegs and youtube videos will be the only option for fans outside of Japan to actually see the thing. Then having it translated or subtitled so they at least know what the hell is going on."

"Wright, don't you suppose they could be taking all that time and effort and actually catering to fans all around the world by making a manga or something?"

"Oh, they're way ahead of you, Edgeworth. They've already made one, but see it's just a bunch of random little short story doujinshis by various artists."

"...So there's no central plot to it? Or a unified style?"

"Nope.."

"Doesn't that seem kind of strange that they could make this huge opera that Rin-neechan isn't going to watch, but they couldn't even hire a decent artist and writer to put together another trial or something for the manga's story? That's about as lame as Liquid Snake's british accent."

"It sure is, Edgeworth. Needless to say, Rin-neechan is about as disappointed with Ace Attorney lately as she was with Metal Gear Solid 2."

"What was wrong with MGS2?"

"Raiden."

"Oh yeah, that's right. What a minute... why are we talking about another game series besides our own?"

"Haven't you been listening at all, Edgeworth? Rin-neechan is disappointed with the recent Ace Attorney franchise and lack of news about new games, so she's moved on to the Metal Gear games. And there's the fact that she's writing our dialogue."

"But, she dedicated five chapters of this drabble archive to celebrate the news of my game!"

"Well, yeah but, there's not going to be a trial portion to your spin-off game, Edgeworth."

"... There isn't?"

"Nope."

"Then what the hell is the point?! The trial is the where we reveal the truth! Where everything that we've gathered comes together!"

"Don't ask me, Edgeworth. I'm not making an appearance in your game at all."

"You're not?"

"Nope."

"Then who the hell is going to challenge me?!"

"No clue, Edgeworth. But don't worry, there won't be a trial portion, so it shouldn't be too hard for you. Since I won't be around to give you a hard time in court or anything. Rin-neechan will still play your game when it comes out, but don't expect her to go out of her way to play it if she's working on Metal Gear cosplays."

"What do those Metal Gear games have that ours doesn't? We've got death and some violence, suggestive themes and mild language!"

"Eye candy, Edgeworth. Eye candy, or lack thereof. Rin-neechan likes Solid Snake's muscley bod, beefy butt, and sexy voice. I mean comon, how many people can pull off a mullet and still manage to be awesome AND hot at the same time? Not many. I couldn't."

"I don't suppose I could either... so you're saying that unless the Ace Attorney franchise comes out with something that'll take Rin-neechan's attention off of watching all of the Metal Gear Solid 3 cutscenes set to the Naked camoflauge, we probably shouldn't expect anymore drabbles?"

"Pretty much. I mean, even more so now that she's got to take Organic Chemistry next semester, and has yet to play Metal Gear Solid 4 and Portable Ops a second time."

"But what about her other fanfictions? The non-drabble ones?"

"Well, being as she's got about three or four Ace Attorney fics that aren't finished that she has no idea how to end them, let's just hope she figures it out."

"I do hope so, Wright. It would be a shame to end on a note like this."

"Tell me about it. At least it's not like the Sopranos where they ended the show in mid sent-"


	38. Sad News for all AA Fans

If I could organize an angry mob to storm the Capcom of America headquarters, I would.

* * *

"Wright, I've been looking for you. I wanted to extend my condolences. It's come to my attention that Ben Judd has been fired from Capcom. I know this must be difficult for you."

"..."

"It is a great loss for me as well, Wright. Mr. Judd was instrumental in bringing the Ace Attorney series overseas, and of course his most memorable contribution was that he provided the voice talent for your objection."

"..."

"Although it's upsetting, all things considered it shouldn't surprise anybody. Capcom seems to have a history of burning their bridges with members of their staff that one would think they'd consider invaluable assets. It's to my understanding that after the phenomenal success of Resident Evil 4, the staff that created the game was publicly humiliated, no small matter in Japanese culture, which in turn resulted in them all resigning from Capcom."

"..."

"Anyway, as I said, I'm truly sorry for this great loss, Wright. However, you being mute will make the lives of every prosecutor all the more simple and increase the likelihood of me being the star of more games. Farewell, Wright. Good luck finding an adequate translator."

* * *

Nobody should be sitting around wondering why Resident Evil 5 was such a piece of steaming shit. I'm pretty sure if the series continues it'll do just fine, but it was just sad news to hear that Mr. Judd as let go. I should keep record of how many times Capcom royally fucks up.


End file.
